Let’s talk dating tips for men. Because once you hit your thirties, dating really starts to suck. We’ve learned enough from our dysfunctional twenty-something relationships to know what we want in a partner, and since we’ve waited this long, we’re not likely to settle. But between Tinder disappointments and ghosting, we’re also starting to get a little tired of searching for a connection. That means there’s more pressure than ever to make a great impression on a first date.
But let’s be honest. Sometimes a guy’s take on a successful date is a bit different from a girl’s. These dating tips will set both sexes up for happiness, especially in the fresh breath department. So fellas, follow this love advice to make dating in your thirties as fun and uncomplicated as possible.
1. Show up on time
Being punctual for a date says that you value her time and that you’re excited to see her. Being late, on the other hand, gives the impression that you’re inconsiderate, irresponsible, and immature. If you are going to be late, save the excuses. Just give her a quick call to let her know so she’s not waiting by the door (or worse, at the restaurant).
2. Turn off your phone
Or at least leave it in your pocket. We’re all a little bit addicted to our smart phones, but the second she sees you looking for missed texts, she’s going to immediately be turned off. If you’re not feeling the date and perhaps you’re trying to turn her off, skip to tip number 9.
3. Be confident
Dating is nerve wracking. But there’s no bigger turn on than confidence, so fake it if you have to! Take her somewhere you feel comfortable. And if you’re still feeling shaky, ask her questions about herself and let her do the talking. Which brings us to dating tip number 4.
If you only take one thing away from this post, let this be it. Nothing makes women feel special like being heard, and furthermore, being validated. So refrain from hogging the conversation or interrupting your date and instead let her open up to you. Once she’s finished her thought, follow up with a comment that proves you were listening and that you’re genuinely interested in her point of view. Seriously guys, this is the key to keeping all women happy.
5. Don’t bring up your ex
Talking about your ex (especially on a first date) is like shouting at your new love interest, I’m not over it! How would you feel if the woman you were seeing started yammering on about her past relationships? Don’t even mention the negative aspects of past relationships. Here’s a news flash: trashing your ex only makes you look like the bad guy. Do yourself and your date a favor and save the ex talk for when things start getting serious.
6. Don’t argue
If you don’t agree with something she’s saying, it’s okay to have a calm dialogue about the subject. But if things start to get heated (in a bad way), lay off.
7. Keep it simple
On a first date, start with drinks or coffee. If you’re not feeling each other, one of you can choose to dip out early. Just in case things go well, have a second destination in mind. Women love when guys do the planning.
8. Offer to pay
Chances are she’ll decline your offer and insist on splitting the bill (she’s a self-sufficient thirty-something woman, afterall). But the simple gesture of offering to pay will put you in her good graces. Even if you don’t hit it off, she’ll look back fondly at your ability to be a gentleman. And if you ever end up dating one of her friends, she might even put in a good word.
9. Be honest about the follow up
If you know you don’t want to see her again, don’t promise to call or text. Tell her you enjoyed getting to know her but that you don’t see a relationship in your future. If there was zero connection, chances are she noticed it too. If she was really feeling you, the rejection may bruise her ego a bit, but at the end of the day she’ll appreciate that you were mature enough to be honest. On the flipside, if you are interested, don’t play games. You’re in your thirties. Be a grown up and ask to see her again. If she’s not into it, be respectful and move on.
Got your own set of dating tips? Share in the comments below!